I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Randomize
