talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
Randomize
