Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
Randomize
