drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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