I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
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