To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
He felt like a one man threesome
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
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