Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Randomize
