stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize
