I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
We got so high we made milksteak
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Randomize
