haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
Randomize
