Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
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