i just wanna soil my oats bro
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
Randomize
