Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
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