This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
Randomize
