i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
everyone is single if you try hard enough
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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