So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
Randomize
