We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
Randomize
