real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
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