ya dads aren't the best wingmen
these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Randomize
