I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
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