I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
