I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
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