Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
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