Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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