i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
Randomize
