He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
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