the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
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