I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
