Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
Randomize
