did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
Randomize
