The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Randomize
