I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
You had me at "let me see your balls"
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
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