my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
Randomize
