"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize
