Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
