I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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