you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Randomize
