I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
Randomize
