just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
Randomize
