So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
We're hate flirting, damnit.
Randomize
