There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
