That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Hey
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GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Randomize