It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
my penis made a compromise with my morals
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