chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
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