What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
One girl and one boy is just not enough.
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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