I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
