Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
ALERT: Turns out when I'm drunk I turn into a clepto. I just found keys, a ketchup bottle, and sweatshirt in my backpack that don't belong to me. If yours, come collect from me. I'm still drunk in the back of biology lecture.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
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