**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Randomize
