I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
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