I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
Randomize
