So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
