how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
Randomize
