I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
