You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
Randomize
