Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
Randomize