I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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