when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
Randomize
