Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
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