I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
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