redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
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