I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
Randomize
