just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
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Did you bedazzle the elevator?
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
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