You can't motorboat a personality
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
Randomize
