You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
Randomize
