and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
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