Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
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