I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
Randomize
