Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
Randomize
