We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
