You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Randomize
