He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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