her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
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