Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
Randomize
