how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
Girls should come with a carfax report
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
